She had hit her limit. Was there even a chance to fix this? Did she even want to fix it? Was she asking too much? Of course she was not asking too much, all she wanted was to feel loved, to feel as if her husband was attracted to her, to feel like he wanted her, and nothing. It had been six months, she was dying inside, she needed something and he was not giving it to her,instead he was giving it to someone else. Not literally, but still the same.
She was lost, she saw what was going on but emotionally checked out,who wouldn't be. She heard the kids but did not see them, she heard the music but it did not register, nothing at all registered.
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I sat in my car, waiting. I lit up what had to be my third smoke, singing along in my head to the new Rhianna song on the radio. Late again. I checked my watch, going on 20 minutes now, looked in the mirror, reapplied some gloss. I looked like hell. It had been a long day. There was no time to change or shower, I had to come straight from my job. All I want to do is go home and pass out, but I couldn't. I had to wait. It should not be that much longer. I noticed the parking lot across the street, where there was a European deli and a liquor store. One of these days I have to go check the deli out,then stop into the liquor store. We have one close to the house, but if I am always waiting,why not check out the store. Then I saw the car, the dark blue sedan pulled up directly in front of me, I noticed the driver, an unknown familiarity, and then we locked eyes. Even with the side street separating us, we knew who the other was. I threw out the last of my cigarette out the drivers window, and quickly lit up another,without taking my eyes off this person. This person who I had never seen before in my life, yet I knew. I knew. It was a cold night, the windows in the car were quickly steaming up, I had to turn on my defrost so I could not lose sight. And then, I noticed the passenger door open. It couldn't be, I do not understand, but it was. It was him. My heart sank. I knew, she knew, and he knew. Everything turned to black, everything except the headlights on my car, the headlights that were still directly on the car across the street, and then he walked in front of the headlights. Blinded for only a moment, blinded by my fears and the lights, the shadow, the shadow of him walking to my car. I knew,I knew without him having to say a word, I did not want to know, but I did. The passenger door opened and he jumped in. I could not even look at him, my eyes were still on the car across the street, the car that was still there, the car that had my husband in it. I tore my eyes away from her, and looked at him. Silently hoping there was some kind of misunderstanding. Praying that this was not what it seemed, and then I knew. His eyes were dead, instead of looking at me, he too kept his eyes on the car across the street, the car that had remained still. He looked at her but was talking to me "We need to talk."
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