I ended up going to the funeral with Joe and the kids. I did not want to. I also did not want to be left alone, thinking about Penelope. So I went.
Being that I married into a Samoan family, which pretty much consist of the entire population of Samoa, I have been to many funerals. My own brother in law's funeral included.
This had to be one of the most beautiful funerals I have ever seen. Seriously.
There was a band. I have never seen a band at a funeral, and they were good. Lots of singing and clapping, with a dash of dancing. Yes, dancing.
We were told we were not there to mourn, but there to celebrate this young mans life. We do not need to be sad, because he is walking with Jesus right now. We need to be happy, and as believers, know that one day we will too.
It was just a very uplifting funeral, if that makes any sense at all. I left feeling that if the incident had not happened with Penelope yesterday, I may not have been in the same frame of mind to take away from the funeral what I needed to take away from that.
We have no promise for an easy life, what we do have is the promise that God will be right there through it all. So even though I am still very sad about Penelope, I have to have the faith that she will be okay. Even if that means that she does not live with me, I have to believe that she will be okay.
I know this post and my last post have been slightly depressing. I still am depressed, but tomorrow will be better. It's all baby steps.
Lastly, I have to do something good. Some kind of random act of kindness. I have no clue what, but doing something good for someone else while I feel so crappy has to make me feel a little bit better, right?
Once I figure it out, I will post about it.