Monday, August 12, 2013

Trying to explain online dating to my mother, OY!

My youngest sister is a single mom of a 10 month old little boy. She lives with my mother and step dad in a very rural town out-in-the-middle-of-no-where.

I always tell her, her life reminds me of "In Her Shoes" meets "Hope Floats"

I know it is still early for my sister, but when the time is right, I want her to try the online dating.

Now, before anyone starts rolling their eyes, just hear me out.

1. It's not like I want her to meet Mr. Right. I am totally fine with Mr. Right Now.

2. Everybody is doing online dating now, and if you disagree with that, then you are either married, or old enough to be my parent.

3. I believe online dating can be a good thing if some rules are followed. (talk through email first, if that goes well, give your number out, if that goes well, meet in a neutral location with lots of people around)

4. I also believe online dating is good "practice" for when Mr Right does come along. Plus, there will be lots of funny stories to tell (because, lets face it, you will talk to about 50 toads before talking to anyone semi normal) See.....good practice!

So, today, I finally told my mother that I think it would be a good thing for my sister to try online dating. It's not like she is going to be introducing anyone to her son (meeting the kids comes after a year of dating) Just to give her some "dating experience"

So, as you can imagine, THAT conversation went well.

Mother~ How is your sister, she never tells me anything?

Me~ Good, good, she is doing good......actually........and I know you will disagree with me........but.....I kinda want her to try online dating.

Long pause. Like an 8 minute long pause. I was able to lay the phone down, go pour myself a drink, and still come back to silence.

Me~ Hello???

Mother~ Jennifer, what are you trying to do, are you trying to kill me? She already brought one psycho into our life, I am not ready for another. What is she suppose to do, go to the big city and meet a guy for a drink?

Me~ Ummm, well....yeah.

Mother~ IN MY DAY AND AGE A GENTLEMAN CAME TO THE DOOR, HE WAS INTRODUCED TO THE PARENTS, NO. NO, I AM NOT HAVING IT, I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER TURN UP DEAD IN THE RIVER.

Me~  The river?

Mother~ YES JENNIFER, WE HAVE A RIVER, MAYBE 20 MINUTES AWAY. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I AM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER, NO, THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Me~ Okay, calm down there cowboy. Kelly does not even want to do it, it was just an idea I had because......

Mother~ WELL YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR IDEAS TO YOURSELF!

Me~ Oh geez.

Mother~ AND WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN HER BODY IS FOUND, HOW ARE WE GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO THE BABY?

Me~ Again with the river I see.

Mother~ I HAVE TO HANG UP NOW, I AM GOING TO GO PUT THIS IDEA OUT OF HER HEAD.

Me~ You said she was sleeping! Don't wake her up, geez, it was just a thought. She is not even into it, it was all my idea, leave her alone!

Mother~ DON'T YOU TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME, I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER!

And there you go!

So, what have we learned?

1. My sister is going to end up being a crazy cat lady.

2. I need to set up a pay pal for therapy donations......for my sister......and myself.

and this is why I drink Vodka, it's cheaper!

1 comment:

  1. actually, we know quite a few people who have met great folks via on line dating, especially Christian Mingle. In October we have a wedding that came to be because of this very site. I'm a believer in them; of course, only the proven reputable ones.. but there are a number of them.

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