Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Last Dinner

When I was a little girl, every Sunday after church one of two things would happen. We would either go out to eat afterwards, or we would go home to cook out. Dad would break open the grill, while mom prepared her amazing homemade hamburgers.  As soon as you opened the fridge you were able to take in the aroma of garlic, onion and Worcestershire sauce on her burgers that had been marinating overnight. It was amazing.

Whether we were sitting around a table at Bennigans, or sitting around our kitchen table, it was family time. A time to recap the past weeks events, to catch up, good food and good conversation. At Bennigans, I would always order a burger. You can never go wrong with a good ole burger and fries. If I was feeling rebellious, I would order the chicken tenders. 

To this day, whenever Joe and I go out to eat, I will order a burger or chicken tenders. I never stray. Well, there was that one time we went to Billy McHale's and I thought to myself "Break out of the box, try something new." Well,  I kinda like my box. My big rebellious move was bacon wrapped prawns. Yeah, no. Never again. I mean I like bacon, and I like prawns. Just not together. I actually unwrapped the bacon from my bacon wrapped prawns, and ate it separately.

As us kids grew up, and went our own ways, those family dinners were few and far between. I mean we still made them happen, just not as often. I remember one year in particular, we were all living about two hours apart. It was the holidays, and my grandfather and his "wife" came to visit my parents. It was a given that my sister and I would be there. Not because we felt we had to, but because we wanted to.

Mom went all out with her infamous Italian feast. Plenty of pasta and fish to go around, along with all the sides. Beautiful breads, at least three different sauces, salads. You name it, she cooked it.

The kitchen was  so busy. Mom was cooking, Dad was overseeing mom, Mom was getting annoyed because dad was over seeing her. My sister and I had little babies to watch over, my then husband was doing what he does best, nothing. My sisters husband was pretending he was engaged in some civil war magazine, my brother was helping me with my son. Grandpa and his "wife" were all like "Come, sit, sit, eat, manja, manja" As soon as my parents actually sat down, they would be right back up again. It may have been to grab an extra spoon, some more sauce, some freshly grated parm. My poor parents could not sit down and enjoy their meal.

I felt bad. This particular kitchen had a huge table and bench, that was able to fit about 6 people comfortable, 8 people cramped. Then there was a breakfast bar of sorts, that sat 2-4. My parents had planned on eating at the breakfast bar, while the rest of the family sat around the table. I did not like that. I mean here they are doing all the work. I was useless. I had to deal with a fairly new baby who I had no idea had to deal with. My husband at the time, AKA Num Nutts, was useless because he is stupid, not because he was a hands on dad. My sister had her hands full too, and my brother was just a kid, helping me with my kid. No one could help.

I finally told my parents "No, you guys sit at the table, we will sit here." (breakfast bar) I may have actually thrown my son to my Num Nutts "husband" in the hopes that he would actually take a hint. Everyone was like "Oh, good idea Jen" Grandpa, again with is "Sit, eat, manja."

And then I saw "The Look" from dad. You know the look, we have all done the look. The look that says "Okay, I am annoyed" but the words that come out of the mouth are oh so different. "Okay sounds good."

It was only years later than I was able to understand that particular look. They wanted to sit at the breakfast bar, because then they were able to watch the family. Together my parents may have shared a knowing smile "Oh, Sarah is annoying Jen again" ( Sarah is the "wife" and in case you were not able to tell by my quotation marks regarding the "wife" I never liked her.) Or perhaps they were able to share the compliments on how good the meal was. They would be able to steal secret glances at each other, the kind where nothing needed to be said, but where each knew what the other was thinking. And, knowing them, they probably preferred to eat at the breakfast bar because it was easier access to get up and get anyone what it is they needed.

However, if I were to put money on it, I would venture to say they wanted to sit at the breakfast bar so they could take in and enjoy their family. Watch us all from a very close distance. Not knowing if or when we would be able to do this all again.

We never did. That was the second to the last time I say my grandfather. He passed away a few years later.

That dinner, that very hectic crazy dinner, where everyone was everywhere, the food, the aromas, even the "wife" and her annoying me, that will be forever in my heart. That was the last time everyone was together at the same time. Maybe, just maybe my parents knew that. Perhaps my grandmother was watching from above, telling my parents to take it all in and enjoy it in whichever way we can, because you never really know. had I kown, that that was the last dinner we would have together, four generations of Ortolano's, I would have made it count more, Perhaps by doing my now infamous karaoke rendition of "In the Ghetto" by the one and only Elvis. or having my grandfather and dad do a Frank Sinatra song. Perhaps "My Way" would have been fitting?

Anyway, I just want to give a shout out to my parents. Thank you for the dinner, thank you for understanding, and thank you for watching over your family. I can only hope to be as good as you one day.

Salud!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Spring Break 2014

* All typos are sponsored by Vodka exhaustion.

So, the kids are on Spring Break.

Yes, thank you. I know you feel my pain.

I have been trying very hard to keep the kids busy, and productive, without spending a whole lot of money. Easier said than done.

Today's activities involved a dentist appointment for Sofia. This is how it works. The dentist office knows all the school kids are on Spring Break. Yesterday they made all the necessary phone calls to us parents who have somehow forgotten about the yearly teeth cleaning. Up until today I thought it was a pretty good idea. I was actually excited when the office manager called me yesterday for my "reminder" phone call.

 "Oh perfect, yeah, we will come in tomorrow, I love this, now she wont have to miss any school, thanks for the reminder."

I figured after the appointment we would grab a quick lunch, run to the store for some odds and ends, and then to the park we go. Funny how things never work out how you play them out in your head.

Today we all slept in just a bit. Instead of waking up at 6:30 am, we woke up at 6:45 am. So that was fun. I enjoyed my usual routine of watching old I Love Lucy and The Golden Girl episodes. Got a kick watching my girls re enact a scene with Rose and Blanch. Only, in this particular scene Rose called Blanche a slut, so when Gracie called Sofia a slut, I found myself answering the "What is a slut question?" by responding with the all time favorite "I do not know, ask dad."

Then the usual, baths, get dressed, you know the deal. Off we go to the dentist. A plus, Sofia is used to this, little nervous, but nothing she cannot handle.

We arrive, on time, I fill out the 20 pages of paperwork to "update information" even though nothing had changed since my last visit.

This particular dentist only sees children, so the waiting room kinda puts Chuck E Cheese to shame. There are video games, legos, a playhouse, a beautiful fish tank, t.v that is always on Disney. I mean I would not be surprised if some parents make extra unnecessary appointments  just to bring their kids here to hang out, and enjoy a moment or two of peace and quiet. The waiting room is seriously THAT cool. Not that I would ever do that or anything.

Then I received a text message from my 13 yr old. "Mom, I have something to tell you but I think you will get mad"

Keep in mind, I just left him. He was home. He had plenty of opportunity to tell me whatever it was that was going on. Unless of course he planned it this way. He knew if he told me this news over text message while I was at the dentist with the girls, that surely I would not freak out in the waiting room.

After I made sure the cats were okay, I demanded to know what was going on. Cats were fine, so between you and me, I was good.

So my son had the brilliant idea of piercing his own ears. Why he did not just ask me to take him, I have no clue? However, what I did tell him was it is now his responsibility to make sure his ears do not get infected.

Back to Sofia, she was in and out fairly quickly. No issues there. Well, there was one issue with Gracie. When the Dental Assistant came out with Sofia, she had given Sofia a bag of goodies. Tooth brush, tooth paste, dental floss, and a sticker. Sofia gave Gracie the dental floss, which Gracie decided to use as a ball. She was throwing the dental floss up and down, while I was talking to the assistant, and, well, Gracie's aim is not the best, and she hit the dental assistant.

Time for lunch. Burger King was right up the road and who does not love a good ole whopper? Lunch went off pretty well, other than when it started to rain, and right there in the middle of Burger King Gracie belts out "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, IT'S RAINING. GREAT, JUST GREAT, NOW I CANNOT GO TO THE PARK, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SOFIA!"

Off to the store. I literally only needed three things. Hot dog buns, chili and soda (for my vodka!) I left the store with a shopping cart full of junk.

Get to the checkout. Everything was good. I mean the usual happened. Girls fighting over who puts what on the belt. Also, they just learned how to do cartwheels, and for whatever reason they felt like every customer and store employee in Fred Meyer needed to see their cartwheel, so, that was fun.


Have I mentioned this is only day 2 of Spring Break?


Monday, April 7, 2014

Through the Eyes of a Bulimic, My Messy and Beautiful



This essay is part of the Messy, Beautiful project going on at Momastery. If you want to learn more, just click the link.
 
I am going to talk about something that I do not talk about too often. It's hard for me to talk about, there is a lot of embarrassment and shame, which is why I think Glennon is having us bloggers do this. It's messy, yet beautiful.
 
I am a recovering bulimic. Well, maybe not "recovering." I personally do not believe anyone fully recovers from it, it's always there, it will always be there. It is and always will be a daily battle, one that I have every intention of winning.
 
A few years ago, it was bad. I woke up every morning and went to bed every night thinking about food. I would plan my days around food. Bulimia had such a scary grip on me, I never thought I would get away from it. This was just how it was meant to be. For the longest time, I even stopped trying to rid myself of this monster, because what was the point? The following is a very accurate account of how my bulimia days would go.

http://momastery.com/carry-o.
6:30 am~ wake up, ready to start the day, as I am getting ready, shower, hair, makeup, I plan my day out. Take my husband  to work, and my daughter to her eye doctor appointment, then drop her off at school, run my errands, grocery store, pay bills, etc., pick up The Husband for his lunch break, and basically do a lot of driving around. 
7:45 am~ Drop The Husband off at work, the plan is to take my daughter to McDonalds to kill time before her appointment. I would be getting a coffee and perhaps a sausage (no bread) biscuit and my daughter would have hash browns and orange juice.
8:00 am~ sitting in the McDonalds parking lot eating our breakfast. I do not like my coffee. It does not taste like I thought it would taste. My daughter does not "like" her hash browns (even though she has had them 20 times prior to this) so I throw the hash browns in the bag....and them something "clicks" in my head. I then justify another day of binge/purge. Tomorrow is Saturday and I do not have to do anything tomorrow, today I have a lot of running around to do, it will be soooooo easy for me not to binge/purge tomorrow because I will be home. So maybe today can be my last day? Maybe today can be my "goodbye to bulimia" day....I eat the hash browns.
9:30 am~ I just dropped my daughter back off at school. Feeling the guilt of eating the hash browns. I plan my next move, Jack in the Box.
9:45 am~ Sitting in the parking lot of Jack in the Box, eating a number 7 combo (with diet coke, I mean really??) and a breakfast burrito. I am in heaven...and still hungry.
10:00 am~ I drive to the local thrift store (trying to find vintage handbags) to kill time till 10:30 am when Wendy's opens. Oh how I love Wendy's!!
10:35 am~ No luck finding vintage handbags, although I did find some adorable dresses for my daughters. Three dollar dresses mind you!!
10:40 am~ Wendy's is open!!!! Once again I am sitting in the parking lot, scarfing down a number three combo (again with a diet coke) while surfing facebook on my cell.
11:00 am~ my niece calls me and I feel guilty. Can no longer finish my food (something I will regret later in the day) I light up a smoke (hello addiction) and talk to her while in the Wendy's parking lot.
11:07am~ the plan is to get home and head to the bathroom.  My oldest son is watching my youngest daughter who is still asleep. It is perfect. I get home, proclaim my need to pee, head to the bathroom. Turn the faucet on, make sure to be extra loud while I am opening and closing the cabinets (as if I am looking for something), and then I go for my tooth brush. In my experience, sticking the tooth brush down my throat as opposed to my fingers makes the act of purging so much easier.

11:20 am~ I feel wonderful, everything is gone!!
12:15 pm~ head back out to pick up The Husband for lunch, I hate this part of the day. I drive 15 minutes to his job, we drive 15 minutes back home, and stay here for fifteen minutes before we have to leave again. I hate it...but my husband is such a hard worker, he needs to come home on lunch, I cannot tell him how much I hate it.
1:00 pm~ head back out to drop him off at work. I am tired, I am stressed, and I am wearing pants that make me feel like I weigh 500 pounds. I see Long John Silvers, all of a sudden I get a craving for shrimp, must stop!!
1:15 pm~ scarfing down the food as fast as I can in the Long John Silvers parking lot. It is soooooo good, everything I thought it would be and more, then I start to think about the pop-corn shrimp. How is that going to be when I throw it back up? Then, I realize I am too close to my husbands work. I can see his store entrance from where I am sitting in my car. What if he sees me? How will I explain this? OMG, is this what it is like to have an affair??????
1:30 pm~ head home. Wait...Taco Bell......I cannot resist their volcano tacos!!! I not only order their volcano tacos but also their volcano nachos. Amazing!!!!!
2:00 pm~ I am home. I only have thirty minutes before I have to pick up my daughter from school, just enough time for another purge. I run in the door, make way to the bathroom, and repeat the same behaviors from earlier in the day. It feels good, just like a drug, and then, the guilt sets in.
 
Once again, I promise myself that tomorrow will be different, it will be a new day, a new start.....yet, it never is.

One of my binge sessions, sitting in my car.
.

Same binge session cont.



Until one day it was.
Now, I am not one of those people who had to hit rock bottom in order to "get better." because, here is the thing, as I said earlier in this post, bulimia will always be with me. Always. It will sneak up on me when I least expect it. That's just the way it works. What did happen was I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was going broke by spending all my money on food, I could see the effects of bulimia on my teeth and skin, and it pretty much sucked. When I first started this whole bulimia thing (6yh grade) I did it because I felt I was fat and I wanted to lose weight. Funny thing abut bulimia, you do not lose weight! Go figure, right? You are constantly bloated because of all the purging. Without clothes on, I looked about 4 months pregnant, I was bloated that bad. It's an evil sickness/addiction whatever you want to call it, but then,  I started to slowly see that perhaps God had bigger plans for me. I was not meant to live this way. Hell, it was not even living, it was , well, it was nothing, it was just being, and it sucked.
 
Now, this is not some not some Lifetime movie that has a happy ending wrapped in a big red bow. I have no idea how this is going to end. What I do know, is I am a different person now. I have grown, I have woken up, I have lived life in a way that a lot of people may have trouble understanding.
 
How the story ends, not important, how I get to the ending, that is what IS important. Where I can learn, and keep growing, and hopefully, if it is Gods will, to share my Messy, Beautiful.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Hard Times Part 2

I ended up going to the funeral with Joe and the kids. I did not want to. I also did not want to be left alone, thinking about Penelope. So I went.

Being that I married into a Samoan family, which pretty much consist of the entire  population of Samoa, I have been to many funerals. My own brother in law's funeral included.

This had to be one of the most beautiful funerals I have ever seen. Seriously.

There was a band. I have never seen a band at a funeral, and they were good. Lots of singing and clapping, with a dash of dancing. Yes, dancing.

We were told we were not there to mourn, but there to celebrate this young mans life. We do not need to be sad, because he is walking with Jesus right now. We need to be happy, and as believers, know that one day we will too.

It was just a very uplifting funeral, if that makes any sense at all. I left feeling that if the incident had not happened with Penelope yesterday, I may not have been in the same frame of mind to take away from the funeral what I needed to take away from that.

We have no promise for an easy life, what we do have is the promise that God will be right there through it all. So even though I am still very sad about Penelope, I have to have the faith that she will be okay. Even if that means that she does not live with me, I have to believe that she will be okay.

I know this post and my last post have been slightly depressing. I still am depressed, but tomorrow will be better. It's all baby steps.

Lastly, I have to do something good. Some kind of random act of kindness. I have no clue what, but doing something good for someone else while I feel so crappy has to make me feel a little bit better, right?

Once I figure it out, I will post about it.

Until then....

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Hard Times...

So things pretty much suck right now. They suck to the point where I probably should not even bother to blog, yet here I am.

Today, while I was cooking dinner, my two daughters were fighting and fell on one of my 8 week old kittens. Penelope.

Penelope is now unable to walk.

I, of course, freak out. My cats are like my children. I had every intention of making sure I found Penelope and her brothers, Oscar and Mango good homes. As much as I wanted to, I knew I could not keep them. We already have 6 cats.

In an ironic twist of fates, I emailed Ellen and Glennon (the popular blogger from Mommastery) begging and pleading to help me find them good homes.

And then this happens.

My husband and I had too surrender Penelope to the vet. She will need 24 hour care. I would have been willing to do whatever I could for her, but in the end, I suppose to best thing to do was to hand her over to people who have the medical equipment to get her better.

Nothing is broken, yet, she cannot walk.

"Over time" whatever the hell that means, if she is unable to walk then they will have to put her down because "That's no way for an animal to live."

Well, tell that to my 20 year old niece who was paralyzed in a near fatal car accident when she was six.

I am sure she would disagree with that. But what can I do? I do not have the money to put into her care.

This sucks.

My husband blames me.

I get it. When something likes this happens, you need to blame someone.

It's just not the best thing for our marriage right now.

We were suppose to go to a funeral tomorrow. My husbands cousin sadly passed away. I made arrangements to keep this kids out of school so we can attend the funeral and show or family support.

Right now, I think I will just send my husband. It is clear that he does not want to be around me, and quite frankly I am not sure I want to be around him.

We are both hurting, we both deal with hurt in different ways.

My husband met me at the vet. I filled him on Penelope's prognosis. He asked to see her. As soon as he saw Penelope "crawl" on the towel, he lost it.

I do not understand why these things happen. I so desperately wanted to find my kittens a good home, not make them suffer in mine.

And yet, here I am.

My house is empty tonight. I miss Penelope, I want her to be okay, and get better, and be happy in her new home.

I do not want her to feel like I abandoned her. I do not want her mom (one of my other cats) or her brothers to miss her.

So this sucks.

Times are hard.

Friday, March 21, 2014

One of those days....

Some of my friends and family on Facebook think I "over share" information. I do not think I do, Well, okay, maybe I do just a little, but trust me, I hold back a lot. This  post right here may be one of those post that is considered "over sharing", and that's my disclaimer.

I had a doctors appointment today. One of those appointments where I am like "Whoa, you are now in my personal space" but the Doctors prefer to call it a "cervical biopsy." Except, I did not know I was having a cervical biopsy today. I mean if I had known I was having a cervical biopsy I would have posted about it on Facebook last night "So am getting a cervical biopsy tomorrow, send prayers." and then probably make some joke that I think is funny but no one else does.

I wrongly assumed my appointment today was just suppose to be what I "thought" was a follow up checkup to my abnormal pap smear results. Boy was I wrong.

When the very nice nurse took me into a room three times larger than the size I had my pap in, I knew something was up. When I saw three weird looking machines that I had never seen before, I knew something was up. Plus, I watch Greys Anatomy. I like to think I am schooled in this whole Dr/Patient thing.

As soon as I walked into the room I said to the very nice nurse "Okay, this is the big room, what's going on?"

After she tried a little too hard to hold back a laugh, she explained to me what was going on. My pap came back abnormal. Dr wants to take a closer look at my cervic, but look, there is a camera and you can see the whole thing if you want to.

Are you freaking kidding me? Of course I do not want to see my cervix!

She explains to me "the procedure." How the Dr is going to scrape the inside of my cervix.

 Oh joy.

The good news was I only had to take off my bottoms, I was allowed to keep my shirt on, This seriously made me happy,

 As the very nice nurse is leaving the room so I can undress (Just from the bottom down!) She leaves me with a piece of paper. Except, she did not call it a piece of paper, she called it a "cover up."

Is she high??

What exactly does she think this is going to cover up??

As she is closing the "curtain" which is more like a sheet, I grab my purse and pull out my slipper socks. The nurse asked me "Are those your special socks? That is so cute, you brought your special socks"

I did not have the heart to tell her that my slipper socks were leftover from last time I was here. (Makes mental note to clean out purse)

Last time I was here, which was about a month ago, I brought my own socks to wear. On that particular day I was wearing tights and did not want to be barefoot in the stirrups, so I brought socks.....these socks never left my purse......apparently.

 I am sitting there in all my glory, waist down, with a sheet of paper on me for FOURTY FIVE minutes, because my Dr is running late.

It's all good, I mean she was held up at the hospital, So I get it, even though I was bored out of my freaking mind......and cold. In hindsight, I should have taken pictures. How funny and uncomfortable would that have been, but there was a big, NO CELL PHONES ALLOUD sign, and well, I am a stickler for rules.

Dr. finally comes in, and explains how she is going to scrape some cells. I ask her if it will hurt, she says "Yes."

Gotta appreciate the honesty.

I am laying there, letting the Dr do her thing while I am trying hard to relax. I silently start to sing the Eminem song "Monsters" in my head.

Everything was going good until the nurse started to clap. Yes, you read that right, she started to clap.

"Look, there it is. Take a look, that's your cervix"

I mean you would have thought she was looking at an adorable puppy in a pet store window by how excited she was.

So I did it, I turned my head to look. And there it was, on the screen my cervix.

I wanted to throw up. Seriously, Gross!

"Oh my god, that's inside me?!?!"

and then the Dr instructed the nurse to turn the screen away from me.

After all that, the Dr was pleased with what she saw. "Your cervix looks great" I do not know what that means, because what I saw on the screen was anything but great, but whatever. She went to med school, so I assume she knows what she is talking about.

Now it is just a waiting game to get the results back. I am so good at waiting........not.

I mean since I have been home I have googled "cervical cancer" god knows how may times.

Anyway, ,the moral of this  way too much info story, is....ladies.....be proactive. Get your paps regularly, It sucks, It is uncomfortable, but it also could save your life.

So yeah, I kinda do overshare. But, if this post reminds one person "Oh, I need to have my yearly done" then I am okay with that.

Good news is, I have to go back in six months.....and believe you me, I will post pics.

You're welcome.











Thursday, February 27, 2014

So I bought a bible today...

So I bought a bible today. I am just as shocked as you are.

Lately I have been feeling like I want to do better and be better. After trying numerous shades of hair color, gaining and losing the same 10 pounds, trying the whole denim skirt with boots look, I decided "Hmm, perhaps this feeling goes deeper than vanity?"

I figured, oh, I know, what about God. HE can help me do better and be better. But, I really do not know him. I mean I know him, I believe in him, but I do not know him (Other than the fact that he sent his only kid to die for us, which is a pretty big deal.) But I also want to know things like, where did he come from, who his parents are, his likes and dislikes, his enemies (yes Satan, I am talking to you!) I mean I know all about my friends, in some cases I know all about their family, I figured I need to get to know God in the same way, right?

Joyce Meyer has this challenge thing going on starting March 1. I forget the name. It's like 30/30 (or something like that)  the premise is for 30 days you spend 30 minutes studying Gods word, and in return, that is how you will get to know him better. Holla! So now I am on to something. However in order for me to study God's word, I need to have said word. Over the years, the few bibles I have had have somehow disappeared. Much the same way socks do in the wash.

That is how I found myself in the Christian bookstore today. I narrowed it down to two bibles. The first one was a pretty soft cover bible called "The Everyday Women's Bible" and the second was "The Busy Moms Bible." Believe it or not I picked the first. I figured I can't take any shortcuts if I am trying to do better and be better. I mean yeah, I am busy, but who isn't? Anytime anyone makes anything for "busy moms" you know there is a shortcut or two in there.

Then, I strolled over to the music section of the store. A song had just finished playing on the overhead radio that I knew and liked, and there is no harm in looking, so yeah, I also bought a cd. I am not just saying this because I am trying to do better and be better, but the Matt Maher cd is pretty damn good. I think it is called "And all the People Said Amen." It's a live cd, I was surprised to find out I knew quite a few songs on there, and, well it's just good!

So I make my way to the counter with my brand new bible and cd, I am feeling good, I am feeling this is right, and even though I know I should be sticking to a strict budget, I was okay with this purchase. As the cashier was ringing me up she was telling me how Toby Mac was here in town last week for a concert and this Matt Maher guy was the opening act, and he was the only reason she went to the concert to see Matt. Then somehow she started talking about how she owes money on her taxes and will wait till the very last minute to file, then she apologized to me for talking bad about the IRS and yeah....she was nice.

Now it's time for me to go pick up the girls from school, and I am determined for them to like the new Matt Maher cd. Because if I am trying to do better and be better then so do the kids, and I am sick of them listening to Justin Bieber and Kesha all freakin day long, so yeah, new music.

I showed Gracie the cd cover, she read "And All the People Said Amen" and I was trying to be so excited with "Good job Gracie, nice reading, now do you want to hear the song you just read me?" I played them the song while driving, only singing the chorus because that's all I knew, and I am so into it, I am totally feeling it and thinking "Wow, this must be what going to church feels like" I am motivated, driving, clapping, new bible sitting next to me in the passenger seat, "And all he people said Amen" I take a quick look at the girls in the rear view mirror and they are making funny faces at me.

Whatever. Rome was not built in a day.

Baby steps.

But you better believe they will be listening to that cd on the way to school tomorrow.

I am not really sure where exactly I should start reading in the bible. I will probably just wait till March 1 and read what Joyce tells us to, but I am so excited, because, I did buy a bible today!